I've heard Christians all over the board in response to the ruling by the Supreme Court that the Defense of Marriage Act is unconstitutional. Here are a few of my thoughts going forward. Each of these could be elaborated in much more detail, but I'll just mention them briefly. 1. Be thankful.If we can't just go along with the surrounding culture's definition, we might have to do some serious reflection as we ask: what exactly is marriage? I'm thankful for this because I don't think Christians have asked this question often enough or deeply enough. |
2. Repent
Our culture sees marriage as a contractual relationship between two individuals which can be dissolved at any time for any reason. Christians need to repent, because that's the operative definition that many Christians have.
3. Finally realize there's actually a difference between the church and the world!
For too long, many Christians in America have assumed that America and the church are functionally the same. I'm hoping that many of my conservative Christian friends will recognize that America is what the Bible calls the "world," i.e., that part of God's world that lives in rebellion against God's ways. I'm lamenting the fact that many of my liberal Christian friends may now be in the position that my conservative friends were a few decades ago: confusing the nation as a whole with the church.
4. Read 1 Cor. 6 before you bash the Supreme Court
In 1 Cor. 6, Paul basically says that Christians shouldn't bring their issues before non-Christian courts, because non-Christian courts are going to use non-Christian logic to decide cases (surprise!). But Christians like the U. S. court system because it helps us avoid actually taking on the responsibility that God gives us, namely, that we become a wise, discerning, disciplined community that judges all things. If we take 1 Cor. 6 seriously, it might also mean that Protestants need to develop more concrete canon law pertaining to issues like marriage and divorce (as in the Roman Catholic Church). But this would also imply a visible, connected church, something that individualistic, church-(s)hopping evangelicals often avoid like the plague.
5. Re-think our wedding practices.
If Christian marriages should serve as icons of Christ the church (Ephesians 5:21-33), then so should Christian wedding practices. If Christians should have a fundamentally different view of marriage than the surrounding culture, then we need to ask: how should this difference show up, even in our wedding ceremonies and celebrations? Here's one idea: use traditional vows. It implies that marriage is much bigger and deeper than any vows I could make up on my own.
6. Re-think our divorce practices.
If we need to go back to the foundations and rethink marriage, then we need to rethink divorce. If Christian marriage is different from what the State of Michigan (for example) considers marriage, then what Christians mean by divorce is different from what the State considers divorce. If you are a Christian and you get married in a Christian ceremony, there's no reason to think that a piece of paper from the state of Michigan means you're divorced in God's eyes. The state might have jurisdiction over the contractual "marriage," but it doesn't have jurisdiction over the covenant of marriage made before God and witnesses.
One thing that always bothers me: if conservative Christians want to make sure the law of the land matches biblical teaching, why aren't they being more vocal about overturning no-fault divorce law? The New Testament does not allow for such a thing. There are real reasons for which divorce can be sought in the Bible, but "irreconcilable differences" are not one of them, precisely because to assume that something is "irreconcilable" dnies the power of the cross and the Spirit.
One thing that always bothers me: if conservative Christians want to make sure the law of the land matches biblical teaching, why aren't they being more vocal about overturning no-fault divorce law? The New Testament does not allow for such a thing. There are real reasons for which divorce can be sought in the Bible, but "irreconcilable differences" are not one of them, precisely because to assume that something is "irreconcilable" dnies the power of the cross and the Spirit.
7. Re-think our theology of children and contraception.
Thanks to scientific advances, our culture has managed to almost completely divorce sexuality and procreation. Most Christians have gone along with this, not realizing that the use of artificial contraception was seen as a sin for the first 1900+ years of the church. Many Protestants view the Catholic teaching on contraception as outdated, not because they've seriously studied it seriously, but because they buy the basic premise of it: humans have the right to control nature, including ourselves, in any way we want.
Part of the traditional Christian argument against same-sex sexual activity is that it is divorced from procreation. If that argument is correct, then many straight married Christians are basically committing the same sin as same-sex couples. I don't note this to sound judgmental (sorry if it does), but simply to raise this point, about which I find many Protestants to be woefully ignorant. (For a brief overview, see "How Protestants Learned to Love the Pill.")
Part of the traditional Christian argument against same-sex sexual activity is that it is divorced from procreation. If that argument is correct, then many straight married Christians are basically committing the same sin as same-sex couples. I don't note this to sound judgmental (sorry if it does), but simply to raise this point, about which I find many Protestants to be woefully ignorant. (For a brief overview, see "How Protestants Learned to Love the Pill.")
8. Stop talking about how marriage is for "one man, one woman"
I hear Christians say this all the time. The problem is not that this is saying too much, but saying way, way, way too little. It comes across as repressive legalism because many Christians can't unpack why Christian marriage is understood this way. It's just, "The Bible says so, and that's the way it is, and I can't explain in any deep or meaningful way the logic of this position." So get educated. If you want to start somewhere, I'd recommend Pope John Paul II's Theology of the Body. But that's a fairly dense, academic read, so if you're looking for something easier, go with a good introduction to John Paul II's thought on this topic, Christopher West's Theology of the Body for Beginners.
9. Keep calm and breathe. Remember: we've done this before
Live out a Christ-centered vision of marriage in a culture that is sexually-confused, sexually-crazed, and sexually-depraved? Hold to teaching and practices regarding sexuality that are a minority in the broader culture? Welcome to the world of the first Christians. Our call now is the same as it was then: for Christians to be so oriented by God's kingdom and so filled with the Spirit of Christ that our marriages become living icons of Christ and the church.